• Julie Osborne

Where’s the Queen?


Where’s the Queen?

I was enthroned and esteemed at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop back in April, sent home with a tiara, then never to be seen or heard from again. What happened? I promised my subjects I would write. Was I to be queen for only a day and then vanish? Or did something happen that changed my plans?

Something did indeed happen. It all began when I started looking for someone to get me out of the castle. To that point, no knight in shining armor had driven up in his Corvette convertible, nor had Prince Charming appeared in my morning exercise class. Something drastic was needed. I wanted to meet people from outside my retirement community walls, so after many discussions and much concern from family members, my princess daughter enrolled me on Match.com.

But I never imagined I would meet someone on the first day!

It almost didn’t happen as my online payment was missing, and my prospective suitor could not contact me until one of my princesses cleared up the problem and activated my account. After many phone calls I met my match in a public place where we proceeded to talk for two hours. However, when there was no phone call from him later that day, I began to worry. Did he enjoy the meeting as much as I did? The princesses warned me not to call, just as I had advised them when they were dating, “Never call a boy. If he is interested, he will call you.” My potential beau did indeed call the next day, and we made a date for dinner. When he picked me up, I felt like a teenager.

There was a connection from the start as we held hands across the table. He even shared family pictures and asked to see mine. Did I mention that he also brought me flowers? On our first dinner date, we were the last ones to leave the restaurant. How could we have had that much to talk about? And what did we even have to say? Plenty, as it turns out, because the dates and the conversations continued. Getting to know each other felt comfortable. We went ballroom dancing, and I discovered that he knew many of the unique styles and was eager to teach me. We saw movies together, enjoyed boating on a nearby lake, and he taught me how to swim.

Afternoon naps replaced my writing sessions, and dreams of the future replaced tales from the past. There was something to do almost every night, and I began to think being happily tired was normal. My match opened doors for me and treated me royally. He even laughed at my stories of raising seven children in a dysfunctional family. He also had a passion for the Indianapolis Colts, just as I did. We had similar interests and our relationship grew quickly. It reminded me of good wine that grows better with age — we certainly had the age part down.

So now you know where I've been since my coronation, and why theater, concert, and football games seem to have taken precedence over the stories I promised last spring.

Might there be a king in my future? Who knows. I’ll keep you posted.

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Meet Author Julie Osborne